What is Attachment?

Attachment occurs from birth and refers to the way we emotionally bond with others (particularly parental figures during early infancy). This concept was coined by John Bowlby in the 1950s and is linked closely to the concept of temperament. Temperament is an innate personality trait that influences the way one reacts to their environment, and is influenced by anxiety levels, mood, sensitivity, adaptability and other internal factors. Attachment styles can be strongly influenced by one’s temperament, and the expression of one’s temperament can be influenced by their attachment style!

What are the Types of Attachment?

There are four main types of attachment: secure, avoidant, anxious, and disorganised (sometimes referred to as fearful avoidant). In adulthood, these attachment styles might look like:

• Secure attachment: Securely attached individuals tend to view themselves and others positively. They are comfortable with emotional intimacy and generally trusting in relationships, finding the balance between dependence and independence.
• Avoidant attachment: Avoidantly attached individuals may downplay the importance of emotional intimacy and be highly independent, prioritising self-sufficiency. They might be uncomfortable with emotional expression, sometimes appearing emotionally distant or detached in relationships.
• Anxious attachment: Anxiously attached individuals can be overly dependent in relationships and experience strong negative feelings when away from their partner. They may worry their relationship is unstable and seek constant reassurance.
• Disorganised attachment: Individuals with a disorganised attachment style often have conflicting desires for closeness and independence. While they may fear rejection, they may also feel uncomfortable with too much intimacy. This internal conflict can lead to challenges in forming and maintaining stable relationships.

What are the Types of Temperament?

Much like attachment, there are four main types of temperament: choleric, sanguine, melancholy and phlegmatic. These four temperaments can often overlap and at times, there may not be an easily identifiable/prominent style of temperament.

• Choleric: Choleric individuals are goal-driven, assertive, and quick-thinking, thriving on challenges and focusing on results. They value action over slow progress and are motivated by causes, though not highly empathetic. Their assertiveness may be seen as anger, but they calm quickly once their objectives are achieved.
• Sanguine: Sanguine individuals are outgoing, fun-loving, and expressive, quickly building relationships and thriving in social settings. They are competitive, easily bored without activity, and although easily distracted, tend to work well in groups.
• Melancholy: Melancholic individuals are detail-oriented, cautious, and quality-driven, often overthinking decisions and fearing mistakes. Sensitive to others' opinions, they are creative and logical but can be anxious, sceptical, and tire of things once resolved.
• Phlegmatic: Phlegmatic individuals are calm, introverted, and prefer a quiet, routine life. Easy-going and conflict-avoidant, they are good team players but tend to procrastinate, are indecisive, and value privacy and consistency.

Will I Always Have the Same Attachment and Temperament Styles?

No, not necessarily. Although attachment and temperament are relatively fixed, it is possible to make changes to both. For example, if you had an anxious attachment in childhood and were often seeking approval and constant connection with others, this may not necessarily be the case during adulthood. However, if you are wanting to make changes to your attachment style then this can be done with the help of a psychologist. It is important not to be too harsh or judgemental of your attachment and temperament styles, your psychologist will work with you during this process.

Conclusion

Attachment and temperament are two very important aspects of who we are. While attachment provides the emotional security to form relationships, temperament shapes how we experience the world. By understanding both, we can foster better relationships and emotional well-being throughout our lives.

You can find more about attachment here: https://learning.nspcc.org.uk/child-health-development/attachment-early-years

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